Resurgence

Well, I am back.

Yes this is the hand that I use to um ...never mind.

 It has been two weeks since I started working in my new company supposed to be one of the big four in the entire world.

Yeah right, I am a dunce working in the big four.

Should make me feel really proud that I got an opportunity to work here but the point is it is all pointless. How someone can draw boundaries to make themselves feel better is really astonishing but if we are just a minuscule part of the universe then how can we talk about the big four and stuff like that?

Guess that’s how the cookie crumbles. All my life I thought that I wanted to be someone big as in powerful and influential.

Yes, I wanted to be a President.

Instead this is what I am .

A wannabe superhero that no one takes seriously(Myself included).

 I still want to be all powerful and influential but somewhere down the line I feel like I have lost my innate ability to take decisions for myself and stick by them.(I was fickle minded from the start and kept on changing who I wanted to be) When I was in school, I wanted to be like  Roy Keane,

Captain courageous .

Someone who does what he wants and does not give a fuck about what others think.

In college I wanted to be like him:

Yes I wanted to be Imran Hashmi

Yes, I am shallow but I am not scared to admit it.

Truth be told, I do look like Jack Black and not Brad Pitt.

I realized that it is my inability to take chances thrown at me as opportunities and move forward. I have always been the kind of person who leaves everything to the last minute. I have the gift to make excuses on the fly and execute them in an unparalleled manner.

Hmm,  looks like they have been borrowing my excuses.

 I start digging a well when my beard is on fire.

Yup, time to start digging.

I guess it is because I believe worrying does not help ,worrying is like a rocking chair which keeps you in a fixed loop, you just keep going back and forth, back and forth.

I have not sat on one for years now.

 Well, things have changed now and I will have to be consistent. Why? For starters I do not have an option, and this time it is not my beard but my ass that is on fire, so….

Should not have mixed everything while dining. (DALDAL)

Guess what, I  finally  gave in to conformity, and it’s time to pull up my socks and be a rat again .

No, not a love rat.

A rat in the rat race.This time I need to be a super rat.

That's what I am talking about.

 (seems like college all over again).

Ha ha ha .

I have always marveled at my ability to blend in with people and adapt to the situation , as I believed that if one is not busy being born, he is busy dying. The fact is I have changed myself to fit into the situation so many times that I do not remember who I am?I feel I am like  a chameleon sometimes.

What were my favorite things, what made me happy, nothing? That part of my life seems to be a clean slate.

Work in progress .....

What surprises me even more is” How I have changed”. In school, I remember myself as the shy, introverted bumbling nerd who could not fend for himself .

Just looking at the picture brings images of donuts and pepsi which used to be my staple diet in school.

In Junior college, I was the fat guy who lived to eat and was always nervous about what would happen next.

This used to be a starter for me.

I guess I suffered from the worrying disease.

In Engineering, I was the guy who just had a wooden face and had the ability to spoil the mood of even the most patient teachers (Still believe irritating people is fun).

Hey, my face was not this wooden, I sometimes had expressions on it.

Had a short temper and  would always be on the look out to vent all my frustrations on someone.

Man , this guy looks just like me
Bad hairstyle, lop sided glasses and a constipated expression on the face.

A very valuable lesson that I have learnt in my life is not to care about what other people think of me as long as I am happy.(usually I end up irritating people)

Common expression of people around me.

Yes I can irritate people of all ages.

Guess being an editor had its downside as I stopped reading books completely as I was too bored to read. I was starting to get too comfortable at my old job. Well, the new place has people working day in and day out just to meet their targets. On the upside, it will make me realize how far I can go to achieve my targets and reach my full potential. How to talk to people in different situations , how to keep a poker face even in the worst of situations . In short how to be a thorough professional(I prefer to call myself a corporate whore in the making but more on that later). On the downside, I will lose my individuality and as always blend in with the rest .The new crowd is extremely professional who think ten times before they even speak a word.  Will be a bit difficult for someone like me who suffers from constipation of brain and diarrhea of mouth. It just hit me that “Your Individuality is like your virginity, you cannot hold on to it forever”.

Are you a virgin?

Keep changing  everyday .(I meant you and not your underpants, although you do need to change that too).

WOW, One for every day of the week.

One thing that I still don't understand is why people put up with me. I mean seriously, sometimes I can be  a real pain in the butt and why my friends still bear with me despite my stupid, illogical,nonsensical ,and utterly baseless jokes is behind the scope of my comprehension.( In my defense, I saw too many Govinda movies when I was a kid which seems to have left me demented)

Adios for now, got to go and prepare for the “RAT “race.

As usual , I am sitting on the bottom rung reading PL#$#$Y.

Working here makes this company looks like working in this company a piece of cake.

Would be a bloody miracle if I could survive an entire year in this new company.